Thursday, August 31, 2006

Damien Hirst - New Work

Damien Hirsts new work is called Raffinose Undecaacetate. and looks a lot like this



Fucking Shite

By the way Raffinose Undecaacetate is a chemical. You can buy it here

10 Things You Can No Longer Do If You're A British Muslim


As reported in todays 'Guardian' and copied onto this page. Visit The Guardian for more.

This report written by URMEE KHAN

I know, I know - there's a real threat of terror and everyone is frightened. But just as you didn't blame all Irish people for the IRA's bombing campaign, it doesn't seem fair to blame all Muslims for al-Qaida. So here is a check list of what not to do.

1: Don't wear a big coat

Terribly bad things, big coats. Palestinian suicide bombers during the intifada often wore unseasonal overcoats to hide their explosives. This has led to sartorial choices being forced on Muslims everywhere, and is a particular inconvenience in Britain, as in most English northern towns the sight of a grumpy-faced Muslim elder, fiercely wrapped up in a parka against the ravages of a perfectly mild day, is a very common sight.
In the aftermath of 7/7, the police asked the public to look out for people wearing unseasonal clothes. (The bombers were wearing jackets, and it was July, although not a particularly hot day - I myself remember wearing a jacket on July 7.) It would now take a Muslim from the lowest remedial class in the mosque to say to themselves any morning this summer that "things are a bit parky today".
The prohibition on big coats is so powerful that Scotland Yard's elite firearms unit let it be thought, after they had shot dead (the not-very-Muslim-looking) Jean Charles de Menezes, that he had been wearing a big coat. He hadn't, of course, so this otherwise cast-iron reason for shooting a chap in the head collapsed.

2: Don't go on holiday to Pakistan

What's the mantra that comes out whenever the police arrest someone for terrorist offences, the clinching final demonstration that, like the Mounties, they've got their man? "Thought to have spent time in Pakistan." That's how we know Siddique Khan and Shehzad Tanweer were the ringleaders in 7/7 - they had "spent time in Pakistan".
The problem is, spending time in Pakistan is what thousands of British Muslims do every year; it's the equivalent of white Britons trooping off to see old aunt Beryl in Bournemouth. It's a bit peculiar; going on holiday to see relatives in, say, Iran or Syria or North Korea won't raise the same eyebrows. It's Pakistan - where three-quarters of a million of British Asians have relatives - that signals you have been training in jihad. So, Muslims - holidaying in Pakistan? Do yourselves a favour and don't bring your holiday snaps into the office.

3: Don't have a beard

The beard is top of the "Watch out! Muslims about!" charts. We're not talking about designer stubble or a George Clooney five o'clock shadow - we mean scary Bin Laden bumper bum fluff. Think of those two Forest Gate lads. Yes, those two big bushy beards.
The beard is not an essential Islamic feature, yet any Muslim sporting one is instantly seen as a radical. And so, brothers (and a few sisters), get your razor out and shave it off!

4: Don't join groups or clubs

Somewhere there is a dusty office in Whitehall whose function it is to ban organisations (which are always labelled as being "proscribed"). The room is probably full of mildewed, dusty files about Northern Ireland's paramilitary groups, and there is no doubt a faded map of Belfast peeling from the wall. But now the dust has been blown off, because there is a use for the office again.
A couple of months ago, two organisations - al-Ghurabaa and the Saved Sect - were banned in the UK. Now maybe that is right. These were the kinds of groups which, in my university days, used to hang around by themselves having beard-growing competitions, and never seemed to have any female friends. Their views on Jewish people, in particular, made my eyes water. But it cannot have escaped too many people's attention that while some merchants of hate get a good hard banning, others are free to wander the length and breadth of the country, like troubadours of bile. For example, the leader of one such crazed sect, the BNP, who says that, "There is no such thing as a moderate Muslim."
If you are a barking mad, dangerous extremist, in a group prepared to countenance violence to get their way, then you better make sure that you are white. For Muslims, this is a no-no. So, to be a fully accredited ordinary, decent Muslim, you should join only the Scouts, the Brownies or - if force is your thing - the British army.

5: Don't wear the veil

The veil: up until the declaration of the "war on terror", when guns, bombs and bottles of Lucozade took over, it was the hijab which, to many white westerners, was the symbol of being Muslim. It meant oppression - but with a vaguely sexual undertone. Whole BBC2 documentaries were made about it. But now, never mind that veils are a great way of repelling lechers and economising on lipstick, they symbolise either a) a militant female jihadist or b) a male bomber in disguise. (Mind you, John Simpson in a burkha wasn't exactly convincing.)
Most Muslims feel hard done by - nobody tells Catholic kids to take off their crucifixes, or Sikhs their turbans. In fact, Sikhs don't even have to wear a motorbike helmet because of the turban!
But it is becoming difficult to justify the clobber we don. When the BBC asked some Muslims about this, a woman called Salikah from London said that, as a Muslim woman, "and visibly so because of my hijab", she had found people avoiding sitting next to her on the tube. "I've thus resorted to standing to try and avoid any tense atmosphere, reading books such as Harry Potter, and wearing my Make Poverty History band," she said.
So there you go - chuck out your salwar kameez and headscarves/jilbabs/veils, and dress like them next door - as long as they are not also "ethnics".

6: Don't live in High Wycombe/ Luton/Beeston/Walthamstow

Up until a couple of weeks ago, High Wycombe had a happily glum existence as one of Britain's many crap towns. But now, since several terror suspects were arrested there, it is vying for entry to the newly forming premier league of terrorist breeding grounds, along with Beeston, Luton and Walthamstow. Bad news for Muslims from those areas. I would advise packing up shop and going to live in, say, Lyme Regis, Wales or Cambridge. These days, it is perhaps best to live in an "integrated" way, as far away as possible from your family and friends.

7: Don't be apathetic

A funny one this - many Muslims make the mistake of thinking that what mainstream Britain wants from us is apathy, a withdrawal from presumptuous political comment, a retreat to the days of corner-shopkeeping and waggling our heads as we talk. But no, this is denial. My 13-year-old brother is more interested in the World Wrestling Federation than global jihad. But in a few years' time, his non-Muslim fellow citizens are going to start expecting some more cogent opinions from him on subjects other than muscular men in underpants. There seems to be a growing expectation that any vaguely coherent Muslim, certainly if they enter professional or public life, needs to take sides, make their position clear, constantly trim their views to incorporate the necessary ritual condemnation of extremists. However, it is a delicate balancing act - don't be too unapathetic, but don't, at the same time, be a community leader (see below).

8 Don't be a 'community leader'

The phrase "community leader" when used in Britain today is almost never applied to anyone who isn't a Muslim. Frequently it has "self-appointed" added to it. Almost anything can qualify; any form of elected office, of course, but even owning a business or shop on some fleetingly significant street. Being cast as a Muslim community leader is a thankless task. No other community is so replete with a similar cast of leaders, so be prepared for the calumny that will pile upon your head from those who say you are taking an insufficiently tough stance against extremism.

9: Don't be a successful sportsman/woman

Or, in fact, show any sporting prowess at all. It isn't worth it. A Muslim sports star nowadays carries a burden of representation that black athletes have long since sloughed off. To evade it, there is really only one course of action - wrap yourself in the union flag the way black stars did in the 1980s. Amir Khan now must follow where Daley Thompson trailblazed.
That said, you might still be called a "terrorist", the label applied to a South African Muslim cricketer of Asian origin, Hashim Amla, by the former Australian cricketer and (subsequently sacked) commentator, Dean Jones. Or "the son of a terrorist whore", as most believe Marco Materazzi labelled Zinedine Zidane in the World Cup final. (And you also might be labelled a "traitor" by Pakistani fans, as happened to England players Sajid Mahmood and Monty Panesar. And Monty ain't even one of us!) You also run the grave risk of falling into the old Orientalist stereotype of the haughty, touchy, slightly ridiculous Muslim martinet; think of how Prince Naseem used to be described, or the reaction to the Pakistani cricket team's behaviour last week.
10: Don't draw cartoons
Hold on, I've got that wrong - it was we who were trying to ban this after those crazy Danes drew the Prophet (may peace be upon him) in a series of offensive "comedy" depictions. But we can all get carried away.

Photos from UN Convention in New York



At The Ad-Hoc comitee Meeting



The 'Eurovision Song Contest' style scoreboard for the vote on treatment of disabled people in occupied terroties. (USA lost, supported only by Canada, Australia and Japan)





The view from our hotel room.

Pavement Picasso



Just in case you havnt heard about Julian Beever AKA Pavement Picasso, go here and check out his amazing pavement art. Incredible 3d perspective. Makes Banksy look like a bit a wanky

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Evidence that the U.S. Government Planned & Executed 9/11

Watched this the other day. Very interesting and I suggest you watch it too and make up your own mind.


Hungbunny takes on global confectioners


Hungbunny has had a great idea for sweeties. Go there now!!

First Human Rights Treaty Of The 21st Century


I was fortunate enough to be present at The United Nations last week when The UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities was adopted. This will affect 650 Million people worldwide. Not that the media gave it anything approaching reasonable coverage. Found a couple of articles though:

BBC CNN ALJAZEERA

Fox news didnt mention it at all (too busy with the red herring story regarding the murder of Jonbenet Ramsey)

I'll be posting my own photos from the ad-hoc meeting in the next couple of days.

Venezuela to seize golf courses


Well done Mayor Juan Barreto. This has got to be the best bit of news I've read for a while. Get thr full story here . Essentially, He's grabbing 2 exclusive golf clubs, close to the slums of Caracus and turning them into housing for the poor. Fucking right as well, it's about time for the re-distribution of land and wealth. Not only in Latin America but all over the world.

Why the world hates the USA


There's a new site being run by the people at stay free called whytheyhate.us It's essentially a group of photos as to why the rest of the world hates the US. Looks like over time this is going to grow into a complete compendium of (American) Cunts.

The Above is entitled 'Israeli children gifts to Lebanon'

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

An Englishman in New York 2


I've not really posted much in the last week, this is due mainly to two factors:

1/ Been really busy preparing for this trip to New York

2/ Got myself stressed out about flying to America.

wierd really, as i'm sure that the terror threat is being over played, but even I managed to worry about the dangers of flying to New York. Of course the reality was far from the fear the media has hiked up. Sure, it took longer to check in (3hr check in at Heathrow) but all passed well and we arrived in New York more or less on time. The usual bollocks at immigration in the states, fingerprints, retina scan etc.
The day we arrived was our 1st wedding anniversary!! We celebrated by having a meal at 'The View' on Broadway, close to Times Square. Lovely restaurant, On the 47th floor and revolving!! All New York passes by as you tuck in to some of the richest food I have ever eaten. I've gotta say I feel really lucky to have the opportunity to travel here, however much I dislike New york itself. The skyline of Manhattan is very impressive.
I have a number of issues with New york though. It's full of Brash, loud cunts essentially. And there is no getting over the language barrier. I had less of a problem communicating in Beunos Aries and Cuba than here.
They do some really wierd things here, For instance they wash the pavement (sidewalk) every morning!! Are they not aware of a global water shortage. Also they throw away a lot a food needlessly, and when you take into account the amount of homeless people on the streets it's criminal.

It's all about money and status here, nothing else matters. I'm sure there are some great people in New York but i've yet to meet them. I guess that's because we are tied to Manhattan and the UN for the majority of the time we are here. Paranoia seems to be rife here. Suspicion is second nature, everyone is a potential terrorist. I couldnt live here, the climate of fear is even greater than back home in London.

It's very interesting at the UN though. Watching the wheels of international politics grinding slowly along is somewhat frustrating yet fascinating at the same time. It's true what they say, all the real politicing is done in the corridors and over a coffee at the cafe.

Unfortunately, i've not had any time to get creative musically and it looks unlikely that i'll get the opportunity to go and see some bands or go to a club, hectic schedule. Which reminds me, i'd better get back to my meeting.

Gonna watch this Vid by Selfish Cunt while i'm working



And thinking about re-mixing this when I get back

Godley and Creme - An Englishman in New York.MP3

First blog update from New York

Been in New York for a couple of days now and I've got a lot of ranting to get through. But as I am currently at a meeting in the UN now is probably not the time. But I will say this. What a shithole. a compendium of cunts for sure. Overfed arrogant rude cunts.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Iranian President Gets His Blog-on


The Iranaian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has launched his own blog here .

Strange then that Iranian bloggers have been imprisoned and been put under pressure to close down by the government.

Visit Aljazeera for the full story, and other stories with a differant point of view to other mainstream news services.

Plane crash at Empire State Building 1945




In 1945 a B-25 bomber accidentaly crashed into the 78th floor of the Empire State Building. To cut a long story short 14 people tragically lost their lives. A fire ensued but, after a full investigation it was decided that the structural integrity of the building had not been breached.



For the full story on the 1945 crash go here

So, how come the wtc1, wtc2 and wtc7 all collapsed after being on fire for an hour??

Sometimes I wish I'd turned up at school for lessons rather than bunking off, because I just dont understand.

I have watched 'loose change' though. I suggest that you do to. Part one here, the other parts over at you tube

BA Halts Flights From The UK

Iran opens Holocaust Cartoon Exhibition


Not the best idea ever. Iran have opened their Holocaust Cartoon Exhibition in response to the Scandanavian cartoon of the prophet mohammed. How are we supposed to live together in peace when our governments continually crank up the hate. Despite my belief in free speech I cant see the benefit in making a joke out of the murder of millions of any type of person.

This is an insult to those who died/ suffered in the holocaust. Dont forget the holocaust killed not only miliions of Jews but also:

Disabled People. (many of the techniques used to kill Jews was first tried out on disabled people. Annihalation of disabled people was easily accepted by the general public)

Roma's. (probably one of the most socially excluded minorities, even now)

Homosexuals.

Polish Girl Guides & Boy Scouts. (just in case they start a resistance movement in the future)

Russians. (being a Russian was considered a crime whatever the religion)

Political enemies. (got a differant point of view? keep it to yourself - or else)

Many other ethnic and minority groups

But there is a free speech issue here as well. Trying to see how terrible these cartoons are is nearly impossible, the sites all seem to be 'Unavaiable'. Censorship or just a coincidence.

n.b they are avaiable over at Aljazeera

War All About Money??? Surely Not


If you ever doubted that Amercas 'War on terror' wasnt about the economy then view this photo essay from 'Time'. It quotes the fact that bullet production has shot up by over 300% since 9/11.

Couple that together with the amount of bombs and missiles dropped all over the middle east and you've started to turn a dodgy economy around. Pretty shitty that innit, a cunt-ry whose main export is death.

No wonder the terror alerts are constantly raised. When the general public feel threatend in their own backyard they'll back the export of death just on the off chance the threat is real.

Self preservation society???

Go there now

Monday, August 14, 2006

Man with Small Cock goes mad

All he wanted was one of these.....





Read the terrible truth

You may have noticed that today i am mainly bored

Unabomber on E-Bay Soon


Good news for morbid, macarbe memorabilia collectors. The Unabomber personal possesions are to be sold off online. What a stupid idea, What next? Ted Bundy's fridge?

Read the full story

Breaker 14 for a copy, Roger Dat!!!


Isn't it time for a C.B re-birth?? Crank us your handle and watch out for the smokey's!!

Read This


Looking for cb radio or need one repairing?? Go HERE


Watch the trailer for 'Smokey and the Bandit'

Bono Speaks Out


Bono speaks out about how great he is , how he hates activism and how he doesnt see u2 as a band anymore. Well not really, it's a cut and paste job.

Bono Speaks Out.MP3

Utah Saints - What Can U Do For Me


I guess that while I'm posting old tunes I might as well chuck this up. Sample ladened genius. Not the first outfit to go sample crzy but definately amongst the first. I particular like the use of The Eurhymics - There must be an angel.

Pure dancable nonsense.

Utah Saints - What Can U Do For Me.MP3

Soft Cell - Memorabilia




I dont know why everyone bangs on about 'Tainted Love' being Soft Cell's finest musical moment, what about this classic. beeping and a buzzin along for 8 minutes with nonsense lyrics and an original piece of work, not a dodgy cover version.

Go lose yourself for 8 minutes or so with this bashing your earholes.

Soft Cell - Memorabilia (Extended).MP3

Xerophonics - Xerox Docucolor



I recently did a mix exchange thing over at blow-up doll the site dedicated to mainly French female singers. I was surprised to get this track on the mix sent to me. Sounds like it would be more at home at 20 Jazz Funk Greats. Go here to find out all about Xerophonics. Basically it's a copying machine layered over a copy machine over a copy machine (you get the picture?)

Have a listen, it's great.

Next stop should be here to buy the album.

Xerophonics - Xerox Docucolor.mp3

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Money from Terror


With the recent alleged 'Terror Plot' in London, you'd think it was all bad news.But not for Simon Calder who has not been off the news on the BBC or ITV for a couple of days both he and the former head of the flying squad, John O'Connor, are both coining it in with there security and travels opinions. There are many security experts weedling there way out of the woodwork at times like these, but this duo prostitute there views quicker and more often than most. Laughing all the way to the bank?? Undoubtedly

Thursday, August 10, 2006

New Mash-up

Here's my latest effort.

Daisy Daisy - Michelle plays ping-pong (viscerous bliss mix)

vs

Ladytron - Sugar (Archigram in Paris mix)


vs

Peaches - Fuck the pain away


As heard on the blogmix a couple of posts ago.


Get it HERE or THERE

Monday, August 07, 2006

Mazen Kerbaj - Beirut Blogger and Artist


Blogger Mazen Kerbaj is still blogging on a daily basis from Beirut and showing his art. Go there now, view his art and read what he has to say

Effrie Kuntzah DJ Mix


Download HERE

Tracklist:
20th Century Fox Theme
Kill Bill Theme - Hotei
E-Talking - Soulwax (Nite Version)
Where's your head at - Basement Jaxx (pella)
Miserable Girl - Soulwax (Nite Version)
Rebel Rebel - David Bowie (SFB Club Mix)
Michelle Plays Ping-Pong - Daisy Daisy (Viscerous Bliss Mix)
Sugar - Ladytron (Archiegram Under The Roof Paris Mix)
Peaches - Fuck The Pain away
Boys Who Want Boys Outta There Heads - Confus-a-Nation
Native Love Right Now - Confus-a-Nation
Peter Gunn The Queen - Confus-a-Nation
Ever and Never - Demis Roussos (Pilchard Mix)
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi (Dropbass Cheeze Mix)

About 28 mins long and mashed to hell and back

Friday, August 04, 2006

Very Very Busy


I havnt stopped all day, so far I've:

downloaded 15 tracks

uploaded 1 track

updated my blog

checked out my favourite blogs

booked a table for two at a swish restaurant in New York

smoked 15 fags

drunk 12 cups of coffee

eaten 1 egg sandwich (runny on crusty bread with red sauce)

eaten 0.85 of a steak & kidney pie (i would've eaten all but gagged on a lump of gristle)

watched 8 videos on you tube

started 4 rumours about my co-workers

used the toilet 3 times

And I am still totally fuckin' bored

Why the picture of Hattie Jaques? well, why not

Transportation Woes



Sunday going home


I was in a good mood, really. Ok so I’d just finished a 12 hour shift, my 4th in a row but now, now I was off for 4 days. I was heading towards a lovely quiet night in with my gorg, who as I travelled wearily home, would be creating a Sunday roast of epic preportions. Who wouldn’t be in a good mood?

Getting onto my district line train home I was grateful that as it was a Sunday I could get a seat. I tucked myself into the seat next to the doors with a glass screen, therefore ensuring that only one person would be able to sit next to me, perfect.
A quick scan around the carriage revealed a motley crew of fellow passengers. Mostly tourists with a smattering of drunken Essex girls on a hen weekend and a woman so fat she needed a support worker by her side ramming pies into her enormous pie hole or she would most definitely keel over from malnutrition.

Two stops down the line a begger got on .The doors clattered shut behind his grubby, stooping frame.

He was suitably scruffy and was a real contender for the Nobel prize for the worst personal hygiene on board a tube train on a hot summers day .The stench of stale urine permeated the air reaching where I sat, at the opposite end of the carriage with ease.

He held up a card which read “Hungry and Homeless. Please help”
Adressing the passengers at other end of the tube to where I sat, he announced that he was down on his luck and that all he needed was a couple of pounds for something to eat and he would be on his way. The response from the passengers at the other end of the carriage was totally unified , no-one moved an inch and suddenly became fascinated by the advertisement for cheap phone deals to America on the spaces above their fellow passengers heads.

Not a single penny was handed over.

The begging guy, looking even more deflated, thanked them for listening, moved along the carriage and stood almost in front of me. Once again the card was raised and he begun his speech. I really felt his humiliation, it must really take something to put someone in such a position that they would beg in this humiliating way. I felt a certain empathy with him, after all he was in a place we could end up in or have only narrowly avoided. So I reached into my pocket and grabbed the contents in my fist and after a fair amount of twisting and turning pulled out a fistful of change.
Leaning forward I said “ here you go mate”.

He held his blackened and calloused hands together to make a cup and I poured cash into it, it chinked together above the sound of the train as rattled across some points on the track, the beggers eyes lit up and a smile made his old worn face crinkle with pleasure.

I sat back in my seat, Mr smug from smugrabistan.

I glanced around the carriage, I had been elevated instantly to a god amongst men.

The female passengers eyed me with that look a woman gives to a sensitive man, you know that look, the “you’re so sensitive, I want to bear your children” look.

The male passengers had mixed emotions, conflicting between respect for a bigger man and envy that they hadn’t thought of doing it first.
Yes, I was king of the carriage and no-one but no-one could question my social conciencse credentials here at all. How triumphantly smug I felt…

23 pence and a pay and display ticket for the borough of Westminster valid until 1305 last Tuesday ? you tight cunt. It cost me 2 pounds to get on this fucking train, how is 23 pence acceptable? Come on, you must have more.

I was horrified, had this begger not heard about the oyster card? Did he really not know that every journey on the tubes and buses are cheaper with an oyster card??
And also, and considerably more serious, my status on the train had been destroyed.

I looked around the carriage. My eyes pleading for some kind of support from these people, who only moments before had held me in such high esteem. They wanted my babies for fucks sake!! You cant desert me now, not now I need you!!!

They were all looking at me.

Even fat woman had stopped eating a pie. Her mouth hung open, a small amount of gravy started the journey down her greasy chin. A journey that stood no chance of completion. Many times before gravy had tried a similar escape plan only to be foiled by a sweeping, gravy and saliva coated tongue, a fully trained pie attacking machine.
A voice from the far end of the carriage broke the painful silence, it was one of the Essex hens, her nasty blonde hair pulled back off her vicious looking face. Worse the wear for alcohol she swayed from side to side manically as she slurred:

Yeah you fuckin tight cunt, give ‘im a couple of quid for fucks sake. What’s a fuckin’ couple of quid to you

The rest of the carriage joined in berating me for being so stingy. More and more passengers joined in, getting to their feet to point and wag accusing fingers at me. They moved closer towards me;

That’s all the change I’ve got. I protested, weakly. I used my change to top up my oyster card. I explained. But still they moved closer.

A middle aged Japanese tourist got me in headlock while a young couple from france held my hands above my head. With 2 of the Essex hens holding my legs down I was rendered helpless.
I cried, I cried the cry of an 8 year old boy having witnessed an England penalty shoot out. But nothing was going to save me now.Apart from the fact that I'd fallen asleep and was in no danger at all.

Cunt of the Week 31.07 - 06.08

I was sorely tempted to nominate the American sprinter who has been caught cheating, but, as there was an American cheating cunt last week it seems highly suspicious that another cheating American cunt should win again. Are the Americans trying to dominate cunt of the week? I wouldn’t put it past them, hey have to win everything at any cost. Just look at the middle east, they’re not concerned about what the majority of the world wants, they have to win this at any cost.

Back to this weeks cuntenders.



Jeremy Kyle

Tuesdays Jeremy Kyle show was a masterpiece in patronising disabled people. ‘don’t stare at me because I look different’ being one of the articles on the show. How Jezza patronized and smarmed his way through the show. Everyone was ‘Brave’ ‘incredible’ ‘amazing’ ‘heroic’ ‘fantastic’

At one point he said to a young girl how we all complain about minor ailments, overdraughts and how stupid she must think we are with what she’s got going on!! Yeah, that’s the spirit. Why not just speak the truth. You mean thank god I’m not like you, it must be a terrible life being disabled like you. You need to be brave looking like that. This thinly veiled insult to disabled people should be stopped. How about a bit of respect or awareness raising about the reality of living with an impairment in the UK. What about informing people about direct payments, the lack of human rights for disabled people or what about how the government are keen to promote the euthensia bill whose long term goal is surely the irradication of disabled people (or useless eaters if you’re a Tory cunt)

The audience seemed unsure wether to feel heart warmed or complain. Don’t forget these are the people who have turned up to see 'The Jeremy Kyle Show'. A poor mans Jeremy Springer, Jezza usually entertains us with such issues as

DNA test results for the inbred

Lie detector tests for the dysfunctional

Family confrontations for those who have a desperation to be on the telly.

Imagine you’re sitting there, keen for a dna result and the ensuing screaming argument and fuck me they roll out some disabled kids to pity. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t be ready for it, couldn’t they get them to have a dna test anyway? Or maybe they could give them a lie detector test to see if they really want to be rolled out for Jezza’s career benefit.

The programme ended with Jezza hugging a ‘brave’ 8 year old boy, the beginnings of a tear in the corner of his eye.

Patronizing Cunt.


Mel Gibson



Drunk driver mel took it upon himself to inform everyone that Jews started every war. This was only part of a tirade of abuse aimed at the jewish community. No wonder the programme he was going to direct on the holocaust has been shelved then. Why doesn’t he claim he was just going through the script and was trying to get into character , it’s all a big mistake. Gibbo is of course a Christian fundamentalist. Passion of the Christ and all that. He’s more likely to be banging the bible than his (now worn out from child-birth) wife.
Braveheart Gibbo must surely be thrown out of the states for anti-semitism or anti American behaviour. Anti-semitism should be challenged everytime it’s shown or heard, whoever that person is within society.Maybe the gibmiester is so rich that he can be forgiven quite quickly.

Had he abused muslims then there wouldn’t have been an issue, it would just be showing his patriotic side and the drunk driving charge would have been dropped due to lack of evidence.
Definitely a front-runner for cunt of the week

The final decision for this weeks award is currently being delayed as others cunts are coming through.... Watch this space

Gangsta Fag vs Coconut MonkeyRocket




Downloaded some Gangsta Fag from Music for Maniacs And ended up mixing it with Coconut MonkeyRockets Shopping for Explosives, added a bit of drum from Ballroom Blitz and some twang off Muds Tiger Feet and there you have it!!

Enjoy either HERE or over THERE